Friday, May 9, 2008

10:41 p.m.

Punchline, because I've seemed to lost my notebook amid my... uh... piles of assignment papers. And calculators. And tax books. And other shit on the desk:

"What kind of a twist are we talking about here? Something along 'Ed, I'm actually your brother' proportions?"

Think back to when you first saw the 'Ed, I'm your brother!' moment. Wasn't it surprising? That's like Luca being Jesus' brother! Wait a second...

Friday, May 9, 2008

05:46 p.m.

Recall that thing yesterday, with spending eight hours doing something I didn't have to and then leaving it in? Yeeeeah... I have to omit all the extra shit and resend it. After fixing my other fucking mistakes. Ugn... I've smoked half a pack SO far today. I'll be finishing that by the end of the night. I won't be working on my revisions though since sitting in this chair for about... oh... god knows how long since Tuesday has made my back start spasming. Okay... so I probably will be since if I don't do them I won't sleep tonight. Considering I haven't slept in two days because I've been worrying about this shit so much, I don't think I'll last four WEEKS let alone four months.

Welcome to boot camp. I wish I was back in University.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

03:14 p.m.

...I just wasted the last eight hours doing work I didn't even have to do? ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!
BAH! That's what I say... BAH! I'm keeping it there anyway. Waste my fricking time... pssht.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

03:00 p.m.

People really need to stop asking me for reference letters. I'm sick of writing the fucking things. Plus... you know... assignment. But hey, I'm done! And hey, there's TB! He is unimpressed by my program overrides. Hey, they said the amounts had to match! This is the only possible way it will work.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

12:17 a.m.

I had to give up on this assignment for now. My head is going to explode. Shaaaaaareeeeees... urg.

And I stumbled across something that made my eyebrows nearly crawl off my face. Yes, that is a horrible expression. However, the content of these... uh... snippets made me wonder why god why.

M: Wait, so, you're like a sex addict or something?
Inc: ...er...
M: That's creepy.
Inc: It's also a horrible lie.
S.A.D: No it isn't.
Inc: Again, what is with you and TALKING? I'm going to break that fucking computer just to shut you up.
S.A.D: You'll never get your meager two hands on it. A ha a ha a ha.
M: Back to me though-
Kaz: Ahem.
Inc: Oh. Hi Kaz. What brings you out and about?
Kaz: I just had a quick question. I've never sent you to the emergency room, have I?
Inc: ...no?
Kaz: Okay. Just checking.
M: I hate it when he does that.
B: I hate it too.
Inc: I really wish you'd stop switching.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

02:25 p.m.

Three things left to do in my assignment, and then the all exciting organization. I'd like to get this out tonight or tomorrow morning so I can get marked and fix my screw ups quicker. But, for the time being, I need a smoke.

Monday, May 5, 2008

12:29 a.m.

Yes, we LOVE bingo!

And that sums it all up. I'm... uh... still not at that point though. Because I can only make attempts inbetween my massive amounts of reading for tomorrow's orientation.

And stair barricade totally does not work. It gets you axes to the face.

Sunday, May 4, 2008

01:23 a.m.

When I can't complete my objectives, I CHANGE my objectives.

Meet Kamikaze Kennedy. His one purpose in life is to die for my amusement. Does that make me sadistic? Most likely. Does that make me sick? Probably. Does it help ease the pain of this assignment due on Thursday that I have no clue how to do? Yes. Yes it does.

And that, my friends, is why Kamikaze Kennedy now runs through the village with no intention of surviving. He's really just there to throw some grenades, take out a few of the locals, then die horribly. Preferably by chainsaw.

Friday, May 2, 2008

08:28 p.m.

I have a great idea, Mister Kennedy! Let's WALK INTO A BEAR TRAP. Certainly that will aid in our mission! Another fun idea... let's launch ourselves out a SECOND STORY WINDOW just to be cool. Then, the hordes of angry villagers can scythe us to oblivion. Good going, team! NEUTRALIZE THOSE TARGETS.

I cannot aim for SHIT.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

12:25 a.m.

...whoa, got that email way late thanks to filters. Well shit. I'm supposed to have my assignment done for Monday now? God damn. So much for going out this weekend. Better call work tomorrow >.< Arg.

Monday, April 28, 2008

11:21 p.m.

My cure for depression is a good ass kicking. Looks like tomorrow will be spent speed writing this report, then beating the shit out of Leon for about twelve hours. Or toddling off to buy DoC and shooting people. But then again, TPS and all forms thereof are not appealing to me in the slightest. No, even if they do have washed up cell phone salesmen doing the shooting. Perhaps some RE4 or DMC. I'm in the mood for destruction.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

12:43 a.m.

The Montreal story is made of win. Oh. My. GOD.

Friday, April 25, 2008

04:36 p.m.

HOOOOOO HAAAAAAAA!

HOOOOOO HAAAAAAAA!

DONKEY KONG!

Friday, April 25, 2008

05:09 a.m.

So, apparently if you can't sleep due to a migraine and muscle tension, the WRONG thing to do is to take even MORE sinutab. Because that essentially gives you an overdose of medication and you spend the entire night shifting between shivering and hot flashes, trying to purge the drugs considering you're souped up enough to tranquilize a horse. You also do not sleep.

You also still have headache. Fortunately, you're too disoriented to tell if it's still a migraine. But you're not vomiting so that's a good sign.

I foresee FAILURE.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

04:25 p.m.

Migraine to sinus headache which is reaching migraine proportions once again. Cue TWO more sinutab, a pot of coffee, and a desperate plea. Dear bidders for the remainder of my soul - I reaaaaaaally need to do good on tomorrow's (VERY EARLY) exam, otherwise... I fail! So kindly let me pass. Also kindly make my headache go away so I can study so I can pass.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

12:15 p.m.

In the midst of studying, I lose track of time and forget that I need to RSVP to work. AHAHAHA. Whoops.

Monday, April 21, 2008

09:56 a.m.

If I make it through this week with my sanity intact, it'll be from a combination of GMS and cranking deathmetal. Screeeeeeeeeam aiiiiiiiiiiiim fiiiiiiiiiiiire.

Monday, April 21, 2008

12:34 a.m.

The thought of WFC hiding out in a closet to escape kids is rich. On so many levels. Ah.

Friday, April 18, 2008

11:59 p.m.

U.S: Hey, I never went this way the first time I played this. Gee, if I wander aimlessly through this canyon I wonder if I'll find anything cool...
N.U: ...
U.S: Hey! Look! Someone's just standing there. At the edge of a cliff. Wait a second...
S1: Oh. You. Where's Strife?
S2: I dunno. Busy or something.
S1: Huh. Shit. Oh well. I gotta kill something today.
S2: *dies without any time to react*
U.S: *jaw hanging open* Holy SHIT.
N.U: You just got PWNED.

That was pathetic. Just... uggggnnnnn.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

11:51 p.m.

Another true story:

N.U: You didn't answer because you wanted me to bring the phone down, didn't you? Jackass.
U.S: *pre-occupied* No.
N.U: What are you doing?
U.S: Pinball.
N.U: Well pause it. It's Sam.
U.S: Can't.
N.U: Take the fucking phone!
U.S: No. Hold it up to my ear.
N.U: You're retarded!
U.S: I'M TRYING TO PLAY FUCKING PINBALL HERE NOW HOLD THE PHONE TO MY EAR!
N.U: *sighs but does so*
Sam: Uh... ooookay.
U.S: Hi.
Sam: If you're playing a game you can drop the phone, yo.
U.S: Nah, it's cool, N.U's holding it for me.
N.U: Useless shit.
U.S: OHFUCKOHFUCKMYBALL!
Sam: Er...
U.S: FUCK!
N.U: Ha ha!
U.S: Okay. I can talk now. I lost.

Why did GO have to get pinball? It's addicting.

Sam: Mmm... popcorn.
U.S: You call it popcorn. It's butter from where I'm standing.

I'm also addicted to jelly bellies because every one is like a new explosion of WHOA.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

01:45 p.m.

And today's smooth comment winner award goes to...

U.S: Howdy.
Client: Hi. There was a problem with my return and I've been talking to some guy named Sam over email and he said I could come in to fix it.
U.S: Did he now? Step right on into the back.
Client: ...you're Sam, aren't you?
U.S: Got it in one.

I take it as a compliment, every single time. My all-time favorite was when I was called 'Respected Sir'. Nothing tops that. I win.

Still an hour and a half to go. I wonder if that'll happen again... because that would be SWEET.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

01:12 a.m.

Umf...

Editing? What editing?

Saturday, April 12, 2008

12:31 p.m.

I survived my position of running a program. Thank god it is over... except for sorting out a successor, reports, dealing with fifteen fools who can't pick up their shit on time, our dinner thing, and cleaning up the office. I am sad that I did not get to play hold'em at yesterday's wrap up party. I had to run around and find catering. Sigh. One day I'll get to play... one day.

Just not today. I have to finish (and start... hey, I've got one out of nine done) this finance project and then get our accounting writeup down for tomorrow's meeting. Oh... and strategy. Yeah... I should probably get my part written up and sent in.

All I want to do is replay KHII. Sigh.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

10:49 p.m.

Li's making people melt.

Shame on you, Li. And the shit hasn't even hit the fan yet. That'll be five pounds of crack later.

Oh... right. Why am I here? I have projects out the yang and studying to do at... eleven in the evening. Ahahaha... yeah. Better get on studying for accounting tomorrow.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

06:04 p.m.

H&R Block is going to BURN!

This is escalating into the Best. Thing. Ever. I shall sit back and be entertained.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

10:37 p.m.

Edit - Content PURGE. It's probably just a mild mental breakdown and things will look up in the morning. After I launch my sooper awesum incident report... or something. And... say something to stop this slander.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

09:30 p.m.

I hate all.

But at least tomorrow morning my torrent will be done I can start my day off right... namely, with Major Jack being a professional jackass. I have my fingers crossed that he'll kick in a door and then knock when it's hanging by its hinges.

I'll also keep my fingers crossed that I can sort out all these regulations by Friday so I can actually pull together a coherent alternative for our project.

Ugn.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

11:47 p.m.

I like people who reply like THAT. It makes my life easier. Not making my life easier is the two quizzes that... I've failed to extensively study for. And the presentation tomorrow. Of which I am winging. Good thing it's not for marks, otherwise my group would break my legs. MUWAHAHAHA TTM.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

11:34 p.m.

Note to self: Beer bottle/rabbit gag. I'm a terrible person. It's that... or the inevitable Krumb jokes. I think I exhausted those last summer. KRUUUUUMB SENNNNIOOOOORRRRRRRRR.

Friday, March 28, 2008

11:24 p.m.

Apparently I have to buy post-its. Or, as everyone else refers to them as, 'stickies'. In our office, if we don't have them people get hurt. We like our adhesive backed writing recepticles. We also like to plan parties. Yay parties! It's my job to try and get us some booze. I don't think that will go over too well. I'll give it a shot though. I also need to book rooms and catering. My life is a never-ending joy of... uh... awesome. I guess.

Also, officially naming the pterodactyl = win. That's hilarious on so many levels. Even if there is an extra 'a' in there. Thanks, BBC interactive websites!

Thursday, March 27, 2008

11:06 p.m.

I TOTALLY love to jump UP and out of a helicopter in mid-flight. Because there aren't BLADES or anything. Fucking crazy Germans.

I need to label my lead pipe for tomorrow's meeting. I may need it.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

07:30 p.m.

I hate the FUN song because I can't stop singing it. Or listening to it. U IS FOR URANIUM! BOMBS! I was swaying to the imaginary music during today's midterm. I may or may not have been tapping the keyboard keys in time to the music as well. On that note, midterms written on computers = fail. But insulin makes a good killing device. Yeah, after THAT conversation I think I almost vomited from laughing so hard. Sometimes, I love our office.

Monday, March 24, 2008

11:01 p.m.

Not dead. Although won't be able to sleep for awhile until the coughing dies down. Hopefully. And I'm due for a pill. But first, I get the best work related emails ever. It makes me not want to delete any of the messages because the next person to run the account is going to wonder what fucking crack we're smoking. "I've always dreamed of owning a soul!"

Monday, March 24, 2008

08:27 p.m.

You really think I'd learn by now...

U.S: I've put up with coughing my lungs out all day... but now that I'm ready to study for my midterm, I better take Buckleys. Hey... this expiration date says 2006. That's probably not a good sign. And I don't remember it ever being... yellow before.
N.U: Pssht. It's fine. Pussy.
U.S: Um... but... yellow Buckleys.
N.U: Dude, remember the sour cream? That was fine too. You're just a wimp.
U.S: That was way past it's expiration date and I got food poisoning! In fact, half the time I get food poisoning it's because you're all like 'Ooooh, it's fine, you're just being a bitch! Eat the damn stuff.' I blame you.
N.U: Like I said... the Buckley's looks fine.
U.S: *frowns and has a spoonful* Uh oh. It's SWEET. Buckley's isn't supposed to BE sweet. *starts coughing like a lunatic* And it's not working. And now the left side of my chest is tight. You've poisoned me again!
N.U: Hey, you did it to yourself.

It's only been fifteen minutes. I can't wait to see what other side effects occur. Maybe it'll have a cool reaction with the penicillin. Kind of like that one time with prescription drugs, the coffee and the internal bleeding. That was still the best mix of chemicals ever. The best part was when my stomach swelled up to the size of a basketball. Yeah. I have awesome luck with these things.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

10:44 p.m.

G: The part I really don't understand is the lake.
W-F-C: Oh. That.
G: So? How did you do it?
W-F-C: Uh... turtles and back hair?
G: In freezing cold water? Try again.
W-F-C: How about a Space Manitee?
G: Uh... no.
W-F-C: I don't know, okay! Getting shot and falling fifty feet into ice, and coincidentally freezing water, kind of does that to a guy. And while we're playing twenty questions, how the hell did you carry me back to the truck?
G: Bitch, PLEASE. I could beat Chuck Norris in a round-housing competition. I think I have the talent to carry your sorry ass.
W-F-C: Considering I didn't eat for fifteen years I'd assume I'd be kind of skinny. Actually... maybe I bobbed up to the surface!
G: Hey... YEAH. How DID you live fifteen years without food?
W-F-C: That's a good question.
G: I don't think science fiction is ever supposed to make any real sense. Kind of like having zombies for doctors and foliage for duvets.
W-F-C: And brains in tanks. You don't know a guy named Kai, do you?
G: No. Yes. Maybe?
W-F-C: Huh.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

04:15 p.m.

I feel guilty because I have done no work all weekend. Granted, I was practically dying Friday... but still. Instead I've been plowing my way steadily through 15-A today... and oh god, the hilarity BURNS me. Only two chapters left? That's a damn shame.

W-F-C: I don't understand what Japanese has to do with anything.
G: Ninjas are Japanese... and stuff.
W-F-C: That still doesn't make any sense.
J: Speaking of not making sense, whatever happened to mom?
W-F-C: Hm... good question.
G: Or the Wizard.
W-F-C: Pssht. He never counted anyway. The only thing he was good for was getting stoned.
G: And he never shared either. That made me sad.
J: Er...
G: I wonder what would happen if he had a tiger in one of his shows.
U.S: OH GOD THE HORRIBLE MEMORIES! *tears out eyes*
G: ...I don't get it.
W-F-C: Ahahaha... PHILOSOPHY.

I do not like to remember the Philosophy Club. EVER. In fact, I actually threw the book across the room when I got to that part. Ugnnn... my brain will never be the same.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

10:19 a.m.

It's too early in the morning to be skullfucked by Wayne. Seriously. Why does this remind me of LAST year? And this 'assigned' shit... lame. So very lame. If I get ulcers, I'll be sad. Oh please, let me never ever come across another Helen or I will be forced to shoot myself.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

10:42 a.m.

I like to sleep like... eighteen hours out of the past twenty-four. Go team. I also celebrated the fast-acting antibiotics with COFFEE FLOATS. Oh fuck yeah. Now, if I can just get rid of this cold in the next two days, I'll be all set. Good thing you came last weekend, Katie. Thumbs up.

Unrelatedly, what the hell is up with the BBC schedule this week? Two new episodes? Be still my heart! We get foliage AND pterodactyl's. It's like Christmas came early. And James Marster's blowing shit up. Again. Surprise, surprise.

Friday, March 21, 2008

05:51 p.m.

I can stay awake for about two hours at a time. Which works out well because in ten minutes I can take my medication and crash for... probably two hours. Two on, two off. Yay. In addition to strep, I have developed a wicked cold in the last six hours. Nothing's half assed with me, it's gotta be nothing or the fucking semi-truck. I shouldn't complain though since I haven't had a cold since July. That's pretty much... the longest time I've gone without a cold in my entire life. If only I hadn't let my guard down Wednesday... why did I have to RELAX? If I had just stayed stressed, I wouldn't be sick! Curses! I'll never relax again.

Friday, March 21, 2008

05:45 a.m.

OH MY FUCKING GOD I NEED PENNICILIAN RIGHT THE FUCK NOW.

I don't know whether to try my doctor's office or am best off waiting four hours in a walk-in clinic. At least in a clinic, I know they'll take my word that I know what the fuck I'm talking about and write me a fucking prescription. My doctor can't seem to comprehend that even though I get strep, EVERY GOD DAMN YEAR IN MARCH OR APRIL, that it IS in fact strep and I am not lying.

Why did this have to happen on a HOLIDAY? I don't think I can stand this for more than a few hours before I curl up in the corner and get a screaming/crying temper tantrum going on.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

11:42 p.m.

And... uh... yeah. Pictures. Um... uh...

I... have no words. Really.

Okay. Maybe one.

Foliage.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

11:37 p.m.

I'm scared to watch 2.11. Fear.

And I laugh at the eighty-five poor souls who just received my SUPER LONG INFORMATIVE EMAIL. Ha.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

11:15 p.m.

Who waits until the day before it's due to whip up a ten percent assignment in the most boggling class imaginable? Meeeeeeee. Needless to say... uh... ahahaha... it's not done. Two questions left of which I will make a half-assed attempt at tomorrow morning in the office. And getting school work done WHILE in the office is a cosmic joke. Seriously. Plus I need to deal with our insane drawer backlog at some point this week by going in AFTER hours so I can get something done instead of answering zany questions. And man... yeah... zany. Weird shit DOES keep coming up. I have a list of things I need to call up the government and ask them about. But... yeah. Tomorrow.

For now though, I need my daily quota of GMS. It's all about... RHYTHM! And I should get up at six to finish these weird parity questions. Huh... puts, huh?

Saturday, March 8, 2008

06:19 p.m.

Cain vs. The Huntsman. Battle of the miniseries bad-asses. DUN DUN DUN.

Need download to finish. Need to watch it inbetween the massive projects/quizzes/midterms that I have due this week. Must see creepy flying ninja attack. Muwahahaha, T.T.M.

Friday, March 7, 2008

11:31 a.m.

The dancing scene has apparently managed to piss off everyone and their mothers for some reason or another. I myself am quite unimpressed. I tried to sit through the whole thing last night but I couldn't do it. I found it quite painful. Which is sad because the rest of the episode is pretty fucking hilarious. "I don't NEED my liver."

Sunday, March 2, 2008

10:46 p.m.

My desktop is true in every sense of the word. 2.9 will prove that, I'm sure.

And apparently I'm not wanted in the office tomorrow. That makes me sad. But I have to do filing and photocopying so it's a bit of tough luck.

Sunday, March 2, 2008

10:52 a.m.

Why yes, can I please go and blow over a hundred dollars of my own money on office supplies that no one wants to order for me? AWESOME.

I'll also get right on calling a shredding company to come deal with about a hundred pounds of paper that need to be taken care of. Because I enjoy doing that oh-so-much.

Ridonculous.

Saturday, March 1, 2008

09:19 p.m.

It's the skiiiiins can you see them?

I've been waiting all week to get inebriated, turn on my color spiral light, and crank Scissor Sisters while staring at my new poster-clad-party-pad. The only thing that could possibly make this better would be KHII and the Lion King level. And maybe another drink.

...not having to do homework would help too. That can wait until tomorrow, I think. I call the right of substitution.

WE BOW TO NO ONE
Unique :: Isolation :: Pride :: Defiance :: Alone :: Defeat ::